[TPIN] Co-existing On A Gig

[beaglebob6192 at comcast.net]

I admire those who can work together in whatever field they chose to pursue. It's a matter of personalities that often get in the way when on the job. Nevertheless, both my wife and I had a great respect for each other's abilities and felt good when either of us had a successful gig. I guess that even though we worked doing basically the same type of music, we had different ways of doing things on the bandstand where when we did work together, there was that underlying discomfort making either of us feel that we weren't affording the other proper justice. Perhaps it boiled down to a mutual feeling of intimidation (as stupid as that can be). But on the home front, we lived as a devoted couple often sharing our love for music and getting together with musicians that we worked with. Along the same lines, after I retired from the Postal Service, I took on some part time jobs other than working in bands. The businesses were jointly owned and run by husbands and wives who would at the dr
op of a hat fight like cats and dogs, often mixing their beefs at home with business woes. For sure, my wife and I avoided that kind of thing by working separately and independently. You can bet that had I stuck my nose in my wife's business, she'd be tearing me a 'new one'. 8-) The reason I raised the topic was more for curiosity as to how others might work together. The way I described my situation can be taken as being right or being wrong. It all depends on the perspective the reader sees it to be within their own circumstances. The 'fun' continues where both daughters, one trained for operatic music and the other more in the pop category, get together. Talk about fur flying when they do. 8-) 

-------------- Original message -------------- 
From: Steve Evans <baissie at yahoo.com> 

> --- Robert DeSavage wrote: 
> 
> > touching on how husbands and wives, S.O.'s, life partners, and the like who 
> > are musicians that might have occasion to work gigs together? 
> 
> I'm surprised at what I've read so far. My wife, who also plays trumpet, and I 
> have no 
> problems working gigs together. In fact we both enjoy it. We are regular members 
> of a 
> symphony orchestra, concert band, big band, quintet, and several pit orchestras. 
> Neither 
> of us act any different in those groups as we do any other time we're together. 
> We also 
> use to play duets together almost every night until my wife had a problem with 
> her jaw 
> after a dental procedure over a year ago. I posted about it last year looking 
> for 
> advice. She has not fully recovered from that and consequently plays through the 
> pain, 
> playing very little these days. 
> 
> Maybe it's because we're both trumpet players and neither of us has a big ego 
> (try to 
> comprehend), but I think it's more likely that we both just enjoy each other's 
> company. 
> On the gig, if I'm playing lead, she follows. When she makes suggestions, I 
> listen. And 
> if we're playing quintet music, we're both listening to each other. It's about 
> the 
> music, not the player. We occasionally have musical differences but we put egos 
> aside 
> and work differences out just like we would with any other musician we respect. 
> Plus, we 
> have mutual friends. And when we hang after rehearsals or gigs, we're just two 
> people in 
> a group of friends having a good time. 
> 
> I can't imagine being with someone and not sharing music. It's such a big part 
> of my 
> life that if I couldn't share it with my wife in some way, we would have very 
> little 
> time together. Oh yeah... except we both work day jobs for the same company. 
> Hmmm... 
> 
> ...Steve 
> 
> 
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