[TPIN] Difficult Band Member

[fields at stanford.edu]

alice in wonderland type sticker on his horn:  blow me.

kf



Quoting "Daniel,John" <john.daniel at lawrence.edu>:

> My point exactly.
> As a long time teacher and a former director of college big bands, I
> 'know' my comments are going to be accurate. However, that only makes
> them that much more offensive and hard to dismiss if rendered
> insensitively.
>
> The lesson I've had to learn, sometimes the hard way, is that if you
> are going to "posture" yourself into a leadership role by speaking out,
> you have to take into account the end product of your words and learn
> from what you observe.  People do intuitively know or at least suspect
> the motives behind the comments.  If it (the motive) isn't about the
> music, it isn't going to help.
>
> Let the music do the motivating, if at all possible,
> John
>
>
>
>
> On Thu, 2 Aug 2007 11:50:03 EDT
>  RRW1951 at aol.com wrote:
>> Yep, you pointed out some of the details that do influecne
>> the reasons for a band member speaking out.  Indeed, there may
>> me excellent reasons for comments about intonation or
>> the agreed upon style of swinging/phrasing, but I know that
>> the means of delivering such messages can become divisive
>> and even become a power struggle, and in those cases,
>> none of the comments were truly about the apparent issue,
>> but about "top dog" stuff, and ulterior motives are unhealthy
>> until they are discussed directly.
>>
>> Richard
>>
>> *****
>>
>>
>> << This thread has gone on for awhile, so it is obviously touching   
>> some nerves.  I play lead trumpet in a pizza/beer/no$$$ big band   
>> that plays once a week, but we also play other gigs for $$$.  I've   
>> noticed that people do have more fun when we are playing better,   
>> and as one of the more experienced players and as the lead player,   
>> I do feel an obligation to play my best.  This isn't possible if a   
>> majority of players think playing late is the same as swinging,   
>> playing loud is the same as swinging, and playing 3rd trumpet is   
>> the same as playing lead trumpet. Sometimes I do speak up, but I am  
>>  not the band leader. Usually I put in my ear plugs and play the   
>> best I can and hope folks will follow.  Sometimes folks play too   
>> loud without realizing it.  Sometimes folks play late without   
>> knowing it, etc. Usually the most effective comment is something   
>> enthusiastically rendered like, "hey, let's play good time!"
>>
>>
>> However, if the same type of comments need to be made over and   
>> over, then obviously the comments aren't helping.
>>
>> John >>
>>
>> <BR><BR><BR>**************************************<BR> Get a sneak   
>> peek of the all-new AOL at   
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>
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